Hey lovely’s! Today’s post is the fourth part in my A Girl’s Guide To Life series, Toxic Friendships and How To Avoid Them: The Truth About Teenage Friendships. Also, if you didn’t notice I changed the theme of my blog and I really liked it, let me know what you think in the comments down below. I also added a category for this series so you can find it better, just hover over lifestyle and will show up. Let’s get on with the post.
We’ve all have friendships that we thought were perfect but turned out to be toxic. Continue reading to learn about toxic friendships, how to avoid them, and warning signs that you’re in a toxic friendship.
What is a toxic friendship?
A toxic friendship is a relationship that is unhealthy or for lack of a better word, toxic. Toxic friendships can be difficult to get out of because you don’t always recognize when you’re in a toxic relationship.
What are the signs of a toxic relationship?
- You Never Get To Talk
- You start to tell your friend about your great news but they interrupt and start telling you about the shoes they just purchased at the mall down the street. A big sign you’re in a toxic relationship of any kind is if the other person only wants to talk about themselves and you can’t get a word in edgewise. It’s okay for you to be an occasional sounding board but if you are constantly the only one who is doing the listening you need to talk to your friend about listening to you. If things don’t change you need to consider getting a friend divorce.
- She influences bad decisions
- If you start making bad decisions around your friend and only around your friend, this is a sign you are in a toxic friendship. Your friend is being a bad influence on you instead of you being a good influence on them. I would suggest you leave this relationship immediately before you and your friend make a terrible decision that you can’t take back.
- She’s not reliable
- If your friend always flakes on plans you made together this is a sign that you aren’t as important to her as she is to you and it’s a toxic friendship. You should talk to your friend about keeping up with plans and if they don’t change your behavior you should consider changing yours and leave the friendship.
- She’s clingy
- If your friend is clingy and never gives you a moment to yourself this is a sign of a toxic friendship. The worst thing is when your friend wants be with you every second of every day and it’s even worse when they want to be the only friend in your life. You should ask your friend to give you some space every now and again and tell that you aren’t going to abandon your other friends.
- Do they support you?
- Are they always criticising your life plans and goals? Do they support your hopes and dreams? Can you count on them to be supportive of your decisions? If the answer is no to any of these questions then this is a sign you are in a toxic friendship. Your friends should support you and lift you up, not drag you down. You should leave the friendship immediately.
- They are always in charge
- It’s okay for someone to be in charge but you need to take turns decided where to go and what plans to make. If your friend is always the one deciding whether to turn left or whether to turn right then you are probably in a friendship that is toxic.
- They lack empathy
- Friends should share pain and your friends should empathize when you are feeling sad or upset.
- Their life is like a bad reality show
- If your friends life is a living drama this is a sign of a toxic friendship. It’s okay to be involved in drama and now and then but if your friend is constantly the center of it, involves you in drama, or is always gossiping, you should consider the fact that your friendship may be toxic.
How do I avoid toxic friendships?
- Get rid of them
- If you have the slightest insight that a person in your life may be toxic you should get rid of them right away.
- You don’t owe them an explanation
- You don’t need to tell them the entire reason why you can’t be friends with them. Just tell them that you think the friendship is toxic and want to take some time for yourself.
- Identify your true friends
- There are people in your life who are your true friends and if you can identify them and learn what qualities make them a good friend then you will be able to identify the friends who may be toxic by the qualities they don’t share.
- You are not a therapist
- There is a fine line between being a good friend and becoming someone’s therapist. Becoming a therapist for your friends is one of the most toxic things that can happen in any relationship because you will become the eternal listener and your friend will transform into chatty cathy and overwhelm you with their problems instead of listening to yours.
- Eternal apologizer
- If it seems like your friend is always apologizing for something then you should end the relationship because it means that they are always doing something wrong and not taking any steps to prove they are truly sorry.
That’s it for today’s post! See you lovely’s tomorrow with another poem about grief! By the way, I know that lovely’s should be lovelies but for some reason I like lovely’s better so don’t make fun of my grammer. Go check me out on Twitter @kristanicole13 and on Instagram @krista.nicole.m and follow Tales Of A Teenage Brunette. Come back next weekend for part five and six in my A Girl’s Guide To Life series.